Sex by the numbers

Hey, we had an oral agreement..

A judge has ordered a Frenchman to pay his wife 10,000 Euros compensation for his failure to provide her with adequate sex*. Well I'm confused. If a man pays a woman to have sex with him it is illegal, but if he doesn't have sex with his wife it's illegal, and he has to pay her. According to this line of reasoning the only difference is that a wife is a documented prostitute, and the prostitute is an undocumented wife. Our country seems to be very lenient towards undocumented individuals lately, so maybe we should give them a break. Like Charlie Sheen says "Don't report them, support them"!**

Update: I am filing a class action lawsuit on behalf of all the men who have been denied adequate sex from their wives. The law office of Yank, Pullim, and Jerkem will be handling the case.


*http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/8741895/Frenchman-ordered-to-pay-wife-damages-for-lack-of-sex.html
** Charlie never said it, but I'm sure he thought it.

Ticket to ride

What ever happened to the long arm
of the law?



 A New Mexico state trooper was unknowingly photographed having sex with a woman on the hood of her car*. He had pulled her over for having a suspended panty, and then engaged in what appears to be improper use of a vehicle. His trusty K9 chihuahua helped to subdue the suspect and stood guard to prevent  her escape. The officer then gave her a ticket for a mechanical defect due to a leaky rear end, and left the scene of the grime.

Update: The officer in the picture was fired**. He
was a recipient of a "Challenge Coin" an award for going above and beyond the call of duty. Perhaps he was saving her life from a vaginal itch that was killing her.

*http://www.kob.com/article/stories/S2261131.shtml?cat=500
**http://www.santafenewmexican.com/Local%20News/State-police-fire-cop-in-sex-tape

Outmate

A prisoner is suing the jail for 50 million dollars for calling him an inmate. He is upset because it implies he is mating with other prisoners. Mating is defined as pairing of the opposite sex so I don't understand what his beef is. If he doesn't like the opposite sex he should drop the soap a little more often.

*http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2010786/Convicted-killer-sues-jail-50-million-suit--calling-inmate.html