Out of sight

I recently got a prescription for Viagra, and failed to read about the side effects on the warning label. Yesterday I woke up next to this woman. They sure weren't kidding about the vision problems.

We're The Fukawi's



We makem left, right?

There was a classic t.v. sitcom in the 60's called F-Troop. It took place in the old west, and the Hekawi Indians were an integral part of the satirical comedy. Their name derived from the fact they were lost and wondered "where the heck are we". Well recently the Mexican army got lost and mistakenly crossed into the U.S.*. The border patrol saw they were dark skinned, and figured they were Indians. They sent them to the reservation after they thought they heard them say "where the fuck are we"?

*http://townhall.com/video/mexican-army-convoy-mistakenly-crosses-us-border

The name game

First it was global warming then it was climate change. First it was war then it was kinetic military action. First it was Al Quada then it was ... Well we'll never know since Bin Laden is dead. It's weird that both terrorists and the association for community organizations for reform now (Acorn)  think by changing their name they could fool the gullible masses. I don't give a crap if Al Quada changed their name to the Jehovah's Witness. I still wouldn't answer the door when they knocked!

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/06/24/501364/main20073974.shtml

Easier than voting them out.

I remember reading that prostitutes in Copenhagen were offering sex for free during the climate change summit*. No solid agreements were reached after all the negotiations. Why you ask? No agreements means more summits, more summits means more free sex. Free vacations to Denmark on the public's dime, and the taxpayers aren't the only ones they'll be screwing. Damn those prostitutes, they raise your body temperature and the earths. Well free sex is one way to get rid of those idiots in Washington, and it's even easier than voting them out.

* http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/0,1518,665182,00.html

Beating poverty

No penalty for early deposits!

Every country has developed a program to help it's poor. Whether it's welfare, workfare, food stamps, or taxing rich people, they are all doomed to fail. People need to be empowered, to take matters into their own hands so to speak. That's where sperm donation comes in. California's Cryobank pays up to $100. per deposit. Just think of all the money you flushed down the toilet in your youth. Business has climaxed 20% in this current recession, and even Bill Clinton secretly signed up. When it became public knowledge he claimed "I did not have sexual relations with that hand". Don't be an idiot working the dull 9 to 5, sperm donors are beating poverty one jerk at a time.

French foolishness

France always seems to amaze me. They recently passed a law against "psychological violence". A crime punishable by up to 3 years of prison and up to a 75,000 euro fine. What they haven't figured out is what "psychological violence" actually constitutes. In fact insulting your spouse may be a punishable offense. Imagine you claim your wife is terrible in bed and she files a complaint. At the trial your wife will have to demonstrate that she is good in the sack. I guess she'll be hoping for a hung jury. It will be a long, hard trial as there will be many motions, and the judge may require her presence in his chambers. If she is ugly he certainly will hold her with contempt. The upside to this foolishness is France will never have to worry about people ducking jury duty anymore.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/30/world/europe/30france.html