Accidentally on purpose

I love the excuses people give when they are in auto accidents*, like:
1) "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car".
It's true pedestrians are arrogant and purposely walk slow in order to dent your car. Then they go under it presumably to damage your engine, the nerve!
2) "I glanced at my mother in law and went over an embankment".
He probably hoped that by going over the embankment she would be thrown from the vehicle. The next time she needs a ride to the hospital call an ambulance!
3) "The pedestrian didn't know which way to run, so I ran over him".
I hate it when people run back and forth in front of moving vehicles. Its reminds me of the game called tag you played as a child. I guess the pedestrian is "it".
4) "I saw a slow moving old man as he bounced off the roof of my car".
I am really tired of these show off senior citizens. They have senior golf championships, old timer baseball games, and now senior gymnastics. What ever happened to playing chess in the park?

*http://hamill-law.com/massachusetts_car_accident_excuses.html