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| That food court sucks! |
There is a reason the horror movie "Dawn of the Dead" was filmed in a mall. It's the only place in the universe where brain dead people wander aimlessly for hours. It is also one of the few places where you can observe mannequins coming to life. Don't be alarmed, it's only men who appear to be dummies while their wives try on endless pairs of shoes. You may also find husbands acting insane and displaying symptoms of O.C.D. because they nod repetitively. This anomaly is usually cured by the swipe of a charge card. I believe the reason people spend so much time at the mall is because they mindlessly circle the same area over and over again. Scientists have confirmed that you can take a mouse with a brain the size of a bean, put him in a maze and he will successfully navigate it the very first time. Humans who visit the mall every weekend need to use the G.P.S. in their phones just to get from one end to the other. Some evolutionary advantage. You know it really is a shame that zombies always wind up at the mall as their nutritional needs require them to feed on human brains. This is the one place they'll surely starve.
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