The coffee club

I'll take extra milk with mine.

Toby, over at real dumb news broke the story of a shop in Washington called Java Jugs where you get a lap dance along with your coffee*. Finally there is justification for those ridiculously overpriced cappucinos. Unfortunately the police have been cracking down on this lewd behavior, but I believe it is protected by the Declaration of Independence. I recall the lines "We hold these truths to be self evident...they are (well) endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights...(especially) the pursuit of (my) happiness". In fact there is no better way to wake up than with a hot cup of Joe and a pair of giant headlights beaming in your face. Now I know why deer freeze.  

*http://realdumbassnews.blogspot.com/2011/09/java-jugs-have-coffee-and-lapdance.html
 Headlights is a euphemism for female breasts.

The Day After



A 5.9 magnitude earthquake hit the White House yesterday, but fortunately the President was off playing golf when it happened*. He immediately called his trusty Vice President to assess the damage. Joe said those damn tea party terrorists tried to blow up the capital. After finding out it wasn't a terrorist attack, but an earthquake Joe said oh those damn Chinese must be responsible. They're always drilling mines, and weakening the crust of the earth. I'm glad we stiffed them with those worthless treasury bonds. Now you know why the Chinese call him Shanghai Joe. 



The Day After. Earthquake or another
Hip Hop barbecue

*http://news.yahoo.com/quake-rocks-washington-area-felt-east-coast-181550612.html